It’s easy to forget the fact that we are the ones responsible for the lives we live. You listen to people talk and it seems as though the default idea is to blame the system, blame one another or accuse luck for making things happen (or not happen) for us.
But similarly to those old school choose your own adventure books we used to read as kids, we actually get the choice to choose our own life adventure. We are the ones in the driver’s seat; we just need a reminder of that every now and again.
I always adored those choose your own adventure books when I was a kid.
James hears a scream on the other side of the door. He decides to:
a) Open the door to see what’s inside. Go to page 42.
b) Turn around, go back outside and have a walk in the park. Go to page 93.
I loved that shit. And without ever realizing it, it somehow became the motto of my adult life as well. Not only because I love to travel and I love adventure, but mainly because I like doing things my way.
Screw the status quo and let’s stop doing things because that’s how everyone else is doing it. I’m all about living my path, my adventure, my way. Other people’s way is perfect for them but just doesn’t cut it for me. I need my path to be custom made just for me.
If I were reading the book about James and the scary sound behind the door, I’d want an option c, hide under the bed from whatever scary noise is happening. I’m way too much of a scaredy-cat to want to know anything about that weird sound and what’s behind the door
There’s an option c?
Once reminded of the fact that option c is always there, most people would choose it. I think sometimes we just forget that there are other options. Or we get scared and overthink what other people will think of us if we choose a different option than everyone else. We opt for being normal and following the herd to make sure no one thinks we are weird or stops loving us because of our wacky ideas or super odd life goals.
Well, you know what? Options a and b are not for everyone. Realistically, to have enough options for everyone, the book would need to have options a-z, and that probably still wouldn’t be enough. We are all different, we have different goals, perceptions, and priorities.
Limiting ourselves to the basic ways that everyone does things, just takes away our power to make our life completely ours.
So what are options a and b all about then?
The basic a and b options in life are usually created by people and organizations that are only looking out for themselves. They are unquestionably not created for our benefits (as individuals or as societies). Governments and corporations are the main creators of the mainstream trends of our world.
Do we really want to be putting our life choices in their hands?
My goal with this blog and my writing is to make choosing option c, or choosing a path that better works for you, trendy. But not stylish in a “hey this is cool so that’s why we’re doing it” kind of way, but more of a “this feels right, it’s good for me and good for the world” kind of way.
Part of the beauty of choosing your own way and enjoying the outcome of your choice is not just mindlessly deciding what options c, d, e ,f or g are to you. It’s about genuinely listening to your inner you to hear what it has to say.
(If you wanna read about a few of the sweet perks of creating your own true life path, read this article.)
What option c looks like to you
Inside you, there is a small “voice” that can guide you towards a hidden trail made just for you. But beware, that small voice inside that I’m talking about isn’t the same voice you hear inside your head. I’m sure you guys all know that one, the voice that endlessly chatters on about everything and anything as long as you let it. That voice CANNOT be your adventure guide. In fact, it’s very helpful if you can find the volume button for that voice, turn it off, or at least figure out a way to tune it out.
The inner voice I’m talking about is very quiet, and can only be heard with great attention and care. The key ingredient to properly hearing what that voice has to say is an authentic connection with yourself. You’ll notice that once you start connecting with your inner you, and getting better acquainted with your intuition, you’ll realize that this tiny voice I mentioned isn’t usually heard, but felt.
Developing this type of link with the true you deep inside is like tending to a garden. It can be peaceful, beneficial and plentiful, but the commitment is long and continuous. Then, just like a garden, the more time and effort you put into this task, the more people will be able to benefit from its harvest.
How to become an option c chooser
First, you gotta tend your internal gardens. Meditate, paint, dance, be quiet in nature, journal or whatever else to connect with that feeling within.
Only once you’ve connected with you, and heard what your “soul’s” gotta say, does it make sense to start working externally. Otherwise, it’s like starting to drive without having taken the time to decide where you’re going.
First, you figure out the destination, then you figure out how to get there.
Once you’ve connected within and you’re ready to undertake external tasks, the best way is to start small.
Make it a habit to question and debate choices you make in your day to day life. Do you decide to do things or say things because that’s what people do or do you make these choices because you sincerely know that they are the right choices for you?
Once I started asking myself that regularly, I realized how many of my decisions weren’t really mine. At the grocery store, at work, in the streets, in my home, while taking public transport most of my decisions were default a and b “decisions”. And worst, the outcome of these decisions weren’t usually beneficial to me, my people or my community.
I urge you to think about it. Would you have chosen option a or b regarding James and his scary sound conundrum? If so, was that really what you would’ve done in James’ situation or would you have simply chosen it because it was one of the two given options?
To finish off, I’ll leave you with this cool Ted Talk about Choosing your Own Adventure.
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