Life moves quick. It’s easy to get caught up in the motion without ever checking in to see if you’re even moving in a direction that’s actually right for you. I’m hoping this article serves as an excuse to take a moment to stop, breath, and check in with
FYI – there’s no right way.
By “right way” I mean, the right way for you.
These 9 signs can be like warning signs that maybe you’ve veered off course and have stopped actively choosing your own path.
To really utilize this moment of halting and seeing where you’re at, you might also want to take the time to reflect on your goals, dreams, values and how you ended up on the life path your currently on.
Did you choose this path on your own, or was it chosen based on others’ expectations, set norms or doing what you thought you needed to do?
Without taking the time to explore these ideas with your true inner self, it’s pretty tough to know if you’re due for changes or not. Only by poking your head out of the sand, seeing where you’re at, reconfirming where you want to go can you really be sure that you’re going the right way.
Without further ado, here’s the list to help you see if you’re due for a change.
1 Your default state is negative
You wake up grumpy because you’re not a morning person. You’re annoyed in the car because people are horrible drivers. Then, you get to work and are stressed, anxious, under immense pressure and annoyed because your boss keeps giving you more work and your coworkers are incompetent. When it’s finally time to go home, you’re exhausted and impatient because you’ve been sucked dry of every last morsel of energy.
Ok, I might be exaggerating a bit. But does any of this sound familiar?
It’s easy to get caught up in a cycle of negativity and allow it to take control of your existence.
If that sounds like you, I’d say that you’re probably due for changes.
Maybe it’s your mindset that needs some tweaking, or maybe you’re just not happy with the life path you’re on. Either way, this negativity and pessimism doesn’t have to take over your life.
2 You don’t take responsibility
In the example above, part of the issue is how much power is given away by blaming others for each of the negative emotions that are felt.
It’s the other drivers, the boss, coworkers and mornings’ fault that they’re grumpy, annoyed and exhausted. As though this person gets no choice in the matter.
By default, a lot of us think this way.
It’s as though we are freely giving away our control over the state of our lives to others.
It’s not mornings, horrible bosses or bad drivers that make us mad. It’s our perception about those things that make us mad.
This way, the decision is yours. Will you give your demanding boss the power to make you mad, or will you consciously take the time to decide that for yourself?
You choose!
3 No excitement
Think back to the things that usually bring an automatic smile to your face. Maybe it’s your very sweet niece’s silly face, your weekly dance or yoga class, spring mornings or singing in the shower.
Have you been struggling to even find joy and excitement in these usual pleasures? Ever the thought of lying in a bed of spring flower can’t ever generate a morsel of
If yes, this is a clear sign that something needs to change.
Don’t brush it off as though it’s nothing. Recognize your lack of enthusiasm for this cherished activity and see what needs to change in other areas of your life to re-find your love and excitement for whatever makes you light up.
4 Plenty of possible regret
Take a moment to imagine yourself at 92 years old. You’re still kicking around and chatting with some pals about the lives you’ve led and the experiences you’ve had during this long life.
Based on how things have gone thus far, are there many regrets?
Are there many lingering memories of kisses you didn’t dare take, opportunities you let fly by and missed chances for love, beauty, growth and living your truth?
If so, today could be the day that you no longer let regrets fill the memory box. You just need to be willing to take the reins of your days and build the type of life you’d never regret living.
To give you a bit of guidance, this lady Bronnie Ware spent tons of time with folks in the last phases of life to find out about their regrets. She compiled this list of the 5 most common regrets of the dying:
They wish they’d:
- Had the courage to live truer to themselves.
- Hadn’t worked so hard.
- Had the courage to express their feelings more.
- Stayed in touch with friends.
- Let themselves be happier.
5 Fear guides your way
Instead of doing what you’d most love to do, you settle for a less exciting option so that you don’t have to do that thing that would scare you to death.
I did this for years as I miserably held onto my 9-5 knowing very well that what I really wanted was to start my own business. But it terrified me.
What if I fail? What if I’m not good/smart/ready enough? What will others think of me and my crazy plan? What if I run out of money? There’s no way I could actually do this. I’ll probably end up alone and without food or money to pay rent.
Sure, my mind panicked a bit like this big slug, but fear doesn’t take the reins of my life. I allow
As Tim Ferris says: “What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do.”
6 No growth
Think back. When was the last time you changed anything in your life?
And I’m not talking about wardrobe updates or shifting from spinning to Pilates. I’m talking about confronting new mega challenges and obstacles that came with new, updated learnings, ideas, growth
I’m a firm believer in the idea that if you’re not growing, you’re dying.
Nothing stays the same forever and still remains fresh and alive.
Think of nature and a beautiful flower. The plant’s bud evolves and changes with the seasons or the petals open and close with the Sun’s movements throughout the day. I have yet to see a flower that doesn’t change and modify it’s positioning to constantly adapt to its environment.
In fact, this is a basic idea that kids are taught in 3rd grade Natural Science class. Plants and animals constantly change to adapt to their surroundings.
If you can’t remember the last time you adopted a new idea, learned a new skill, made new relationships, understood something from a brand-new point of view, then it’s probably time to think about how to keep blooming.
7 Living for others
Your dad told you to study finance in high school, which is how you chose your career path.
You’re at the age where people expect you to get married and have kids, so that’s your next step.
You go where people tell you to, do things how they say you should, and rarely ask yourself whether that’s what truly works for you.
You just do as your told.
In fact, you’ve done this since you’re a kid.
Mom and dad said that nice girls don’t talk back or get their dresses dirty. So since then, you’ve followed that as a general guidance for life. No talking back or playing in the dirt.
How conflictive might that be for you if you’ve always dreamt of being a florist or a construction person? Or if you’re tired of holding back your opinion and ideas to keep others happy?
Think about it. Are your life choices mainly made by others and their ideas?
If so, you might be due for changes to bring you closer to fulfilling your own goals, dreams, and ways of doing things.
8 Seeking constant distractions
Your schedule is jam packed. Work, family, gym, seeing friends, and being super productive are your thing. But then if you really had to zoom in on the activities that fill up your day, you notice that excess social media, TV, shopping and other mindless tasks take up more of your day than you’d like to admit.
Often times when things aren’t right, instead of facing the issues that are bugging us, we focus unnecessary amounts of energy on shiny objects to distract us from our dissatisfaction.
These shiny objects are often things that can give us an instant sense of short term wellness. For example, getting on social media and seeing that an old acquaintance
It’s all very nice if 82 people like your photo with that ridiculous sumo costume. But those 82 people’s likes don’t fill the void of inner dissatisfaction. Neither does numbing the mind with hours of Netflix, overspending on useless crap or overindulging on excess food or drinks.
These are similar approaches to doctors’ strategies of “curing your illness” by giving you pills for the symptoms. Sure, the pills might make you less anxious, cough less or bring down the fever but they don’t get to the root of what’s really going on.
9 Physical warning signs
Our bodies are the barrier between the outside world and the complex realm of our inner self. It knows when things are off and it’ll send you physical signs to try to warn you. It’s up to you to decide if you’re gonna pay attention to
I’ll give you a list of examples of these warnings’ signs, but please don’t take the list at face value. It’s not that if you have 1-2 of these symptoms you should panic. But instead, knowing what’s “normal” for you and your body, and noticing when there are radical changes.
Some examples of radical changes might be:
- Weight gain
- Thinning hair
- Breakouts (skin)
Heart burn or indigestion- Tightness in the chest
- Headaches or migraines
- Sore back
- Shortness of breath or difficulty breathing
- Bowel issues
Although any one of these issues can be related to genuine physical health concerns, they can also be signs that your body is rejecting external circumstances that aren’t working for you. These physical symptoms can be your body’s way of screaming at you: “CHANGE SOMETHING,
So what now?
You’ve read the article and realized that yes, you are
Fear not my friend. I got you covered!
If you’re ready to hear about my tried and tested process to comfortably move through this transition or change in your life, join me for my next STUCK IN A RUT webinar. During these 30-minute online talks, I dive even deeper into solutions for getting out of a rut and moving through life changes with confidence.
Interested in checking to see if you’re due for changes, but don’t have time to read this right now? Pin the article here!
Nice post. I didn’t know how important is to understand we are want we want. Take that responsibility make us powerful.
Personally, I think there’s nothing more powerful than being clear about what you want. Without this type of clarity, you might walk aimlessly for years